


It's Only Rock And Roll....So Why Don't You Like It?

by GE72



Category: Kids Incorporated
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Reboot story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 11:06:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13832862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GE72/pseuds/GE72
Summary: The new Kids Incorporated - Kelly, Matt, Tiffany, Ricky, and Donna - allow another band to take the stage at The P*lace. However, their style of music leaves something to be desired.





	It's Only Rock And Roll....So Why Don't You Like It?

It was after school, as Tiffany and Donna were hanging out near the basketball courts. They were talking about their classes when they heard some music coming from just outside the gate.

“What is that?” Donna asked.

“Sounds like a trumpet and a saxophone,” Tiffany replied. They both went over to where the music was coming from. Sure enough, there were three students their age playing music, each on a trumpet, a trombone, and a saxophone, slowly belting out a mellow New Orleans jazz sound.

“Call Harry Connick Junior,” said Tiffany. “I think we found his horn section.”

A few more students came around the trio to listen. The mellow sounds they were playing suddenly kicked up and it was more upbeat. The kids who had gathered around began to move around to the beat, as did Donna and Tiffany. The players began to move around as well. 

The trombone player moved closer to Tiffany, trying not to be obvious. He began to move his slide out towards her, as if trying to get her attention. Tiffany, dancing around, noticed the trombone player getting closer. Actually, it was his trombone. He kept moving the slide a lot closer to her with each note. He was flirting with her, but Tiffany wasn’t taking the bait.

The informal jam ended, as the students applauded the trio. The three horn players thanked the crowd. 

“You guys are good,” Donna said, as the crowd dispersed.

“Thanks,” the trumpet player said. “By the way, I’m James Daniels, but you can call me J.D. That’s Zip on the sax, and Glen on the trombone.”

“Hi there,” Tiffany said.

“You two are with Kids Incorporated, aren’t you?” asked J.D.

“We are,” Donna replied.

“If your band needs a little help on stage, we’re available.”

“Thanks,” Tiffany said. “We’ll let the others know.”

Tiffany and Donna turned to walk away. As they did, Glen blew a few notes on his trombone, extending the slide to tap Tiffany on her shoulder.

Tiffany turned back around and glared at Glen. “Stop that,” she said, “if you want to keep playing your horn.”

Glen pulled the slide of his trombone back very slowly, realizing he had been shot down by Tiffany. With that, Tiffany and Donna headed off to The P*lace for that days after school show.

At The P*lace, the audience cheered Kids Incorporated’s set as they came off the stage and headed to the counter where Joe, the manager, was waiting, as was someone else.

“Someone here to see you Matt,” Joe said, gesturing over to the person at the counter.

“Hey, Brett!” Matt said. The two exchanged fist pumps and sat down on stools at the counter. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good,” Brett said. “I see that you’re doing well.”

“Can’t complain.” Matt introduced the others to Brett. “This is my friend Brett.” The Kids said hi to him.

“What’s up?” Matt asked.

“Following in your footsteps,” Brett replied. “I joined a band.”

“That’s great! Have I heard of them?”

“They’re called The Wild Boys.”

“Sounds cool,” Kelly said. “What kind of music do they play?”

Brett seemed to hesitate before he answered, “Mostly oldies.”

“Sounds good,” Ricky said. “Maybe we can hear them one of these days.”

“Maybe you can,” Brett said. “That’s why I came here, Matt. I was wondering if our band can play a set here one of these days, if that’s okay with the guy in charge.”

“I’m the guy in charge,” Joe said, setting down a soda on the counter in front of Matt. “I don’t see a problem.”

“That’s great!” Brett said. “When can we play?”

“How about Friday?” Joe suggested. “Give you a day or so to get ready.”

“Sounds good,” Brett said. “Until then.” He said thanks to Matt, then said goodbye and left The P*lace.

“The Wild Boys,” Tiffany said. “I wonder how wild they are?”

“Guess we’ll find out Friday,” Donna said. 

Kelly went over to Matt. “So, how long has Brett been playing music?”

“Brett plays guitar, just like me,” Matt replied. “When we were little, we’d listen to his grandfather’s old records, and jam a little to them.”

“How old are we talking?”

“Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Junior, Dean Martin,” Matt replied. “We’d play our guitars to their tunes. Of course, we graduated to bigger stuff.”

“Starter food,” Tiffany quipped. “Now you’re at the big kids table.”

“You know, now that I think about it,” Donna said, “Kids Incorporated has been the only band on that stage since the eighties.” Donna would know, since her mother Wendy was part of the band back in the day and had all this information about that time. “It’ll be kind of weird to see someone else on the stage aside from us.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing,” Ricky said. “Give another band a break into the big time.”

The Kids nodded in agreement. If the stage was good enough for Kids Incorporated, it could be good for someone else.

************************************

Friday came around, and The P*lace filled up with the after school crowd. In the window, Joe hung a sign that advertised that day’s show.

 **THE WILD BOYS** are here! Today at 5.

Kelly, Tiffany, Ricky, and Donna, showed up just before five o’clock, and saw that The P*lace was already full. 

“Are they here yet?” Kelly asked Joe.

“They’re here,” Joe replied. “They’re all ready to go.” Joe looked around. “Where’s Matt?”

“He said he would be running late, but he’ll be here,” Ricky said. 

Tiffany asked, “Are any of the Wild Boys cute?”

“Didn’t get a good look at any of them,” Joe said. “Besides, I’m the wrong guy to ask. The only one I recognized was Brett. But I do know their names.” He pulled out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket. “They gave me this before they went backstage. Aside from Brett, there’s the leader, Jeff Wild. I’m guessing he named the band. Then there’s Bill Morton, Tommy Reed, and Ernie Savage.”

“Well, if the name fits,” said Donna.

“Did you hear how they sounded?” asked Kelly.

“Just a bit,” Joe replied. “Didn’t make it out that well. Sounded like they were playing some kind of oldie, but something I didn’t recognize. Anyway, they told me they would play four or five songs, then give the rest of the show to you guys.”

“Sounds good.”

Joe checked his watch. “Looks like it’s showtime,” he said. Joe headed up to the stage and took hold of a microphone. 

“How are you doing out there?” Joe called out. The audience responded with a big cheer. “Good. Kids Incorporated will be on later, but we have a warm up act today. Please give a big welcome for….THE WILD BOYS!”

The crowd inside The P*lace cheered. Joe left the stage as The Wild Boys came on stage. A guitarist (Brett), a bass player, a keyboard player, the lead singer (Jeff), and a drummer.  
The first thing that everyone noticed is that all five members were wearing V-neck sweaters over collared shirts, and neatly pressed slacks. 

“Why are they dressed like that?” Donna asked.

They all felt a foreboding sense of dread. Or bad music.

And right at five o’clock, The Wild Boys started to play…..

 

At five minutes past five o’clock, Matt entered The P*lace. The first thing he heard was a very long “BOOOOOOOOOO.” It wasn’t a ghost, it was the audience inside. Then he heard The Wild Boys singing….

 _”Standing on the corner watching all the girls go by…..”_ Which was immediately followed by more booing.

“What the – “ Matt didn’t get to finish the sentence. But Kelly did.

“What in the world is this!?” Kelly exclaimed, as she and the rest of Kids Incorporated looked at The Wild Boys on stage, singing a song that wasn’t around when any of their parents, maybe even some of their grandparents were, born. And despite the fact the song was catchy – _“Standing on the corner giving all the girls the eye….”_ , it was completely out of place in The P*lace by about sixty some odd years. 

Everyone looked over at Matt. He had no idea this was the kind of music that The Wild Boys play.

“Brett told me they played oldies!” Matt said, completely in shock. 

“Oldies?” Ricky said. “That’s too old to be an oldie!”

“Do these guys realize what century they’re in?” Donna asked.

The boos were consistent and getting louder, as the Wild Boys kept playing and singing, somewhat oblivious to the derision. That was enough for Joe as he went up on stage, waving his arms to get the band to stop. “Show’s over – NOW!” he announced. He signaled for the curtain to come down. As it did, the crowd cheered for the merciful end to the alleged concert, and Kids Incorporated went on stage and behind the curtain.

The first thing heard was the lead singer, Jeff Wild, demanding, “Why did you stop us? We were rocking!”

Joe was already furious. “Rocking? Is that what you call it? ‘Cause all I heard was booing from the audience!”

“Brett!” demanded Matt. “What in the world is this?”

Brett took down his guitar. “It’s our sound,” he insisted. “I told you that we play oldies.”

“I know what oldies are, and this ain’t it!”

“Your oldies are too old,” Ricky said. 

“It’s our sound,” Jeff insisted. “It’s our music. It’s what we play!”

Kids Incorporated just looked at Jeff Wild, who looked as if he was a few notes short of a concerto. Tiffany said to him, “Are you that stupid, in denial, or both?” 

“What is with you guys?” Brett asked. “This is our band. Matt, this is the music we listened to when we were little.”

“Yes, it is,” Matt said. “But I grew up. So did my taste in music. Yours too.”

“C’mon, Matt. You can still rock out to Frank Sinatra!”

Joe and the rest of Kids Incorporated had to hold on to Matt to keep him from attacking Brett. As for the rest of The Wild Boys, they reluctantly got the hint to leave The P*lace but not the hint that their style of rock, for lack of a better term, just plain sucked.

******************************************************

After the hasty departure of The Wild Boys, Kids Incorporated settled down the crowd with a set of songs that was actually rock and roll music. Throughout the set, Matt was playing his guitar in a very bad mood. The rest of the band wondered if he would lose it, and go all Pete Townshend or Kurt Cobain on his guitar. Seeing how Brett pretty much embarrassed him, no one would blame Matt. But there was no meltdown, and there were no further incidents.

The next day, Kelly, Tiffany, and Donna came down to The P*lace to get a little rehearsal done before Saturday’s show. They went inside finding Joe cleaning up a little bit, and humming a strangely familiar tune. When he realized what song he was humming, Joe stopped in embarrassment.

“Standing on the corner while watching all the girls go by?” Donna asked. “You know, there are laws against that.”

“Thanks to The Wild Boys,” Joe said unhappily, “I got that tune stuck in my head.”

“You got to admit, it is kind of catchy,” Tiffany said. “But it was just the wrong song for the wrong kind of crowd.”

“I asked my dad about that song,” Kelly said. “It’s an oldie from the 1950’s, but it was before rock and roll. I wonder why the Wild Boys thought they play that song as rock and roll?”

“Easy,” Tiffany said. “Jeff Wild is a dim bulb.” Tiffany wanted to use stronger language but refrained from doing so.

The girls went up on stage, and noticed something very obvious was missing. There was an empty space where a drum set should’ve been.

“Where’s Toby’s drums?” asked Kelly. 

“I got another question,” Donna said, pointing to an empty guitar stand. “Where’s Erik’s bass?”

The girls looked over to Joe. “Do you have any idea what happened to the drum set or Erik’s bass?”

Joe shrugged. “Didn’t notice they were gone.”

Debbie and Kimmie, their stage dancers, came into The P*lace very hurriedly. “You better get over to the garage, quick!” Debbie said.

“Why? What’s going on?” asked Kelly.

“Matt and Ricky are there,” Kimmie said. “We helped Toby move his drums over there for something.”

“What for?” 

“I’m not sure, but we just peeked in a little bit ago,” said Debbie. “Matt, Ricky, Erik, and Toby are going full blast in there.”

“And they had some other guy in there,” Kimmie added. “He’s sitting in a chair, but he wasn’t moving.”

The girls took off running from The P*lace to the garage where they had some of their rehearsals. They quickly went inside and immediately heard a cacophony of sound, namely coming from two guitars, a bass guitar, and drums.

Matt, Ricky, their bass player Erik, and drummer Toby, were jamming away, the amplifiers practically turned up to its limit, maybe even to eleven. The way they were playing, they were coming off less like twelve- to fourteen-year olds and more like a grunge band before they got their haircuts.

And sitting in the middle of all this, was Matt’s friend Brett. He was in a chair, all right, but he wasn’t moving. Brett was trying to, but the rope that was around him made moving difficult, and he couldn’t scream either, since there was a gag in his mouth. The look on his face said that he was about to lose his mind.

“MATT!” exclaimed Kelly. 

The guys stopped playing. “Hi girls,” Matt said with a smile.

“What are you doing?”

“We were letting out some pent up aggression,” Toby said from behind his drum set.

“You have Brett tied up!” Kelly said. “It looks like you’re torturing him!”

“That too,” Erik confirmed.

Kelly went right over to Brett and started untying the rope around him. “I am so sorry,” she said to Brett as she undid the rope and took out the gag.

“What were you guys doing to him?” demanded Donna.

“I just came down to talk to Matt, to smooth things out,” Brett said. “Next thing I know, he’s tying me to the chair and force feeding me music from something called Soundgarden.”

“We were trying to bring him to the twenty first century,” Ricky replied. “We were showing him this style of music called rock and roll.”

“Did you have to tie him up?” asked Tiffany. 

“That was Matt’s idea,” Erik replied.

“You couldn’t do this to Jeff?”

Matt replied, “He’s next.”

The ropes finally came off. “Thank you,” Brett said to Kelly.

“Hopefully, this desensitization worked,” Matt said.

“Look, Matt,” Brett said, “I had no idea that the crowd would react that way. I didn’t think it would be that bad.”

Matt set his guitar down. “The booing didn’t tip you off?”

“We thought the crowd would like to hear some classic songs.”

“You have a different idea on the word ‘classic,’” Tiffany said.

“Jeff is a real good guy,” Brett insisted. “He likes music. He likes the music before rock and roll. But sometimes, he gets so…so…”

“Stupid?” finished Donna. “In denial? Brain dead?”

“All of the above?” asked Tiffany. “And are we the only ones who believe that?”

“I don’t know why he likes that kind of music and how he thinks him and his buddies can rock out to it,” Jeff said. “Maybe I should quit the band.”

“No argument there,” asked Matt. “Find a real band.”

“I should,” Brett said. “But the weird thing is, I like that kind of music. The old stuff before rock and roll. Don’t get me wrong, I like rock and roll as much as the next guy, but I have an appreciation for that style of music as well.”

“In other words,” said Kelly, “you don’t mind being like Harry Connick Jr.”

“I am,” Brett said. “But whatever you do, don’t say Harry Connick Jr’s name in front of Jeff. He gets riled up for some reason by him.”

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Tiffany said.

Matt, though still kind of upset over last night, apologized for tying up Brett, and they all helped move the equipment back to The P*lace. 

Afterwards, both Tiffany and Donna stepped outside, and heard a familiar sound coming from around the corner.

“I hear the sound of young men playing their horns,” Donna quipped.

She was right. They followed the sound, and sure enough, there was J.D. on the trumpet, Zip on the saxophone, and Glen on the trombone, wailing away on an upbeat jazz number on the street corner.

Upon seeing Tiffany, Glen pointed his trombone in her direction, and started playing exaggerated notes, pushing the slide out as far as he could at Tiffany as she and Donna walked up to them, until it was just inches from her. 

Tiffany, not looking too happy, stuck out her index finger, as she glared at Glen. With her finger, she slowly pushed the slide back towards Glen.

Zip stopped playing, and said to Glen, “Forget it, she’s not interested.”

“And how’s your day going?” J.D. asked.

“It’s pretty good,” Donna replied. “Better than last night.”

“We heard about last night,” J.D. said. “The Wild Boys and their big dumb band sound.”

“Jeff Wild is wild and dumb,” added Zip.

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Tiffany said.

“We actually offered to play alongside his band,” J.D. said. “He told us no. He wanted to keep his band’s sound pure.”

“Yeah, purely idiotic,” Glen said.

“Hey, I got an idea,” Donna said. “You said you guys wanted to play at The P*lace, right?” The trio nodded. Donna explained her idea to Tiffany and the jazz trio, then they went all back to The P*lace.

********************************************************

After last Friday, it was clear that The Wild Boys were not welcome at The P*lace. Yet, a week later, just a few minutes before showtime, the four other members of The Wild Boys came into The P*lace, dressed in their V-neck lettermen sweaters and pressed pants. 

A couple of kids walked by them as they came in, and snickered. Most everyone did their best to ignore them. The Wild Boys were pretty much persona non grata to everyone inside. 

“Oh, look, it’s the boys that rock and roll forgot,” someone said, trying to stifle a laugh. “Or they don’t know what rock and roll is,” another said.

Upon seeing them, Joe, the manager of The P*lace, walked right up to them. “So you came back,” he said, not happy to see them.

“Hey, what happened last week wasn’t our fault,” Jeff Wild insisted. “It’s not our fault your audience doesn’t know good music.”

Joe was trying very hard not to hit Jeff upside his head. “When I cleaning up the stage after your show,” he said, “I found a piece of paper with your set list. Were you guys really going to play ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Window’?”

“That’s one of our most rockingest songs!” insisted Jeff.

“You guys do realize there was music after 1956, right?” Joe said, wondering if he could get away with a justifiable assault.

“Hey, come on. Brett called us to meet us here, so here we are. He told us to see the show today, because Kids Incorporated was doing something that we might like, okay?”

“Fine,” Joe said. “Just do everyone here a favor – don’t sing!”

Joe went back behind the counter, as the Wild Boys sat down at a table. The audience members around them moved their tables away from them, hoping whatever they had wouldn’t rub off on them.

A few minutes later, Joe went up on stage to introduce the band.

“Hello, everyone! Welcome to The P*lace. First off, I’d like to say what happened last week will not happen again.”

“Then what are they doing here?” someone in the audience demanded, pointing right at The Wild Boys.

“They’re here to watch, that’s all,” Joe said, subtly glaring at The Wild Boys. “Anyway, The P*lace would like to present something a little different tonight. So without further ado, here is the big band –” He looked back at The Wild Boys – “I mean, the big ROCK band sound of….KIDS INCORPORATED!”

Joe left the stage as the curtains raised. The audience – with the exception of The Wild Boys – went “Ooooooooooh!”

The girls were dressed up a la the Andrews Sisters in Army like dresses and late 1940’s, early 1950’s hairstyles, but the skirts were an inch or two above their knees. Kelly, Tiffany, and Donna, were pretty much looking like Patty, Maxine, and Laverne. The boys were dressed in white tuxedos, with black ties. And joining them tonight was their “horn section”, J.D., Zip, and Glen. (And for the sake of peace and not wanting to see his trombone get wrapped around his head, Glen was placed furthest away from Tiffany on the stage). In front of some of them, there were placards with the initials KI in bright red lettering. They looked like a 1940’s big band, except for the electric guitars and the synthesizer keyboards. 

Looking dapper in his tux, Matt stepped up to the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Palace,” he said. “Tonight, we are presenting the sounds of yesterday with the songs of today. So, kids….let’s rock it!” He glanced over at Jeff as he said it. Jeff looked like he being force fed reality, in which case, was true.

The band launched into the set, as J.D., Zip, and Glen, heralded the song intro with their horns. The audience responded with a hearty applause, as they did a rousing version of “The Impression That I Get.” Within seconds, the audience was dancing around to the retro style song. All except The Wild Boys. They looked on stage at the proceedings with looks on their faces that said, “What is this noise?”

After they finished the set, the audience cheered their approval and the band took their bows. The only ones not cheering were The Wild Boys.

The band, including their temporary horn section, stepped off the stage and went right to the counter. The Wild Boys got up from where they were sitting and went right to them. But before anyone could say anything, Brett came over and got between them.

“You guys were great!” Brett said excitedly. “That was a great set!”

“Glad you liked it,” Kelly said. “What about our retro look?”

“Even better.”

“Any look we try,” Ricky said, “we look good in.”

Matt glanced over to Jeff and his pals. “So, what did you think?”

The Wild Boys looked at their leader as he thought about his answer. He finally said, “I didn’t like it.”

Kids Incorporated let that comment hang in the air before Matt replied, “Why am I not surprised?”

“What is this, no one can do retro but you?” Tiffany demanded.

“I don’t like it,” Jeff repeated. “I don’t need to explain my reasons, do I?”

“It would help,” Donna said.

“Fine,” Jeff said. “You guys look stupid doing it.”

“And you don’t look stupid singing ‘Standing On The Corner’?” Matt said. “You really are in denial.”

“I am not in denial!” Jeff insisted. “Our style of music is better, that’s all!”

“Denial,” muttered Tiffany.

“You really think girls are going to swoon over you by singing ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Window’?” asked Ricky.

“Playing old standards is fine,” Matt said, “but the way you’re doing it makes you look like total idiots. No one likes it, but not because it’s wrong. You just misjudged the audience.”

“No we didn’t!” insisted Jeff. “It’s real music! You just don’t get it!”

“We get that you’re dumb,” Tiffany said, sparing no remorse.

J.D. stepped forward. “Face it, Jeff,” he said, “you were wrong. This isn’t anything personal.”

“It’s personal to me!” Jeff insisted. “And to you too!”

“It should be, but maybe they’re right,” Brett said. “You’re doing it wrong.”

“If you want to play oldies and standards, fine,” Kelly said. “But don’t do it as if the crowd’s going to love you like you were Bon Jovi. Do it like Harry Connick, Jr.”

“Harry Connick Junior?” exclaimed Jeff. “Oh, please. That guy’s a loser!”

J.D. got right into Jeff’s face. “Say that again?”

“Harry Connick Junior is a loser!” Jeff said again. “The stuff he plays is dumb. The guy doesn’t know how to handle his music. And all of his fans are–“

Jeff didn’t finish his sentence because J.D. lunged at him, for taking Harry Connick Junior’s name in vain. Matt and Ricky held back J.D. as the Wild Boys decided to get out while the getting was good.

“Bye!” Tiffany said as she waved at them. “Call us when you decide to join the twenty first century!” Everyone inside The P*lace now knew for sure that the Wild Boys would not be coming back.

J.D. eventually calmed down. “I can’t believe he said that about Harry Connick Junior!”

“Let me guess,” said Brett. “You’re a big fan?”

“Saw him at the Hollywood Bowl last year. He was awesome.”

“No argument there,” said Kelly.

A few minutes later, Brett and Matt talked before Kids Incorporated went back on stage.

“I’m going to look for another band,” Brett said to him. “I’m going to tell Jeff that I’m out of The Wild Boys.”

“That’s your choice,” Matt said. “May the next band you join be a real band. At least one that isn’t made up of stupid people.”

“Thanks,” Brett said. Matt also apologized again for tying him up and force feeding him rock and roll. Meanwhile, the girls were talking to the young men with horns.

“Thanks for helping us out,” Kelly said to them.

“Anytime,” J.D. said. “Maybe we can have a jazz night once in a while.”

“We’ll see,” Donna said.

Glen stepped up to Tiffany. “So, what are you doing after the show?”

Tiffany replied, “Why? Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave the trombone at home.”

Tiffany didn’t answer right away, so there was hope yet.

Kids Incorporated went back on stage and did another set with their horn section, closing with Chicago’s “Along Comes A Woman,” and the audience cheered their approval wildly.  
After the show, The P*lace closed up for the night, and the Kids headed home, except for Tiffany, who went out with Glen to a movie. Matt and Kelly walked along the street and discussed, of all things, The Wild Boys.

“Do you think Jeff will ever figure it out?” Kelly asked.

“For his sake, I hope so,” Matt replied. “But I feel sorry for anyone who hires them. If they got booed at The P*lace, where else could they go?”

Sadly, it all came true. The new Kids Incorporated later heard that The Wild Boys were hired for a gig, and the result was the same – the crowd booed them out of the building. The residents at the senior citizens home wanted to hear “All Along The Watchtower”, not “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window.”


End file.
